


to skirt or not to skirt

by Irratia



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Swearing, They're all so stupid, asexual willie, au because they're all alive, because that's my brand, but still, funky fresh queer hijinks, he/they willie, hell yeah, i love them so much holy shit also everyone looks good in skirts, it's only scraped up knees, slight TW Blood mention, this is so dumb and so sweet, willie wears skirts and alex is big gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:23:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28992126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irratia/pseuds/Irratia
Summary: It’s become a problem, it really has. And it’s immensely unfair.“Don’t you think that’s a bit dramatic?” Julie asks.Alex turns from where he’s been staring at the ceiling and ranting to look at her. She looks like she’s desperately trying to keep a straight face. She’s failing.“No. It really is. How the fuck am I supposed to have a single coherent thought when Willie’s wearing a skirt? It’s unfair.”
Relationships: Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Bobby | Trevor Wilson/Reggie Peters, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 29
Kudos: 203





	to skirt or not to skirt

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, hello, welcome!  
> Is this the boggie fic i've been talking about for two weeks? no. however this is the skrrt skrrt willex skirts fic that i have not been able to call anything else for the whole writing process. it's fun.  
> quick disclaimer: a) ace willie supremacy b) ace bobby wilson supremacy (shoutout to meg from a-tomb-with-a-view for that one c) i am big ace so i think this is hilarious.  
> I hope y'all enjoy it!!

It’s become a problem, it really has. And it’s immensely unfair.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit dramatic?” Julie asks.

Alex turns from where he’s been staring at the ceiling and ranting to look at her. She looks like she’s desperately trying to keep a straight face. She’s failing. 

“No. It really is. How the fuck am I supposed to have a single coherent thought when Willie’s wearing a skirt? It’s unfair,” he rolls over and throws his head in her lap, despite her rolling her eyes.

“Oh, c’mon, it can’t be that hard to just walk like a normal person,” Julie says, a giggle interrupting her words. She starts playing with his hair while Alex groans again. “But it is!”

She keeps giggling, but takes a deep breath and pretends to put on a straight face, which breaks immediately. “You could just tell him, you know?”  
“Oh, yeah, sure. That’s gonna go over great. ‘Hey Willie, can you stop wearing skirts? It distracts me from walking and my shins haven’t been white in three weeks because there are many obstacles everywhere we go. Also this is not sexual because you’re ace and I respect that, but I love your legs.’ They’re going to love that.” 

Julie rolls her eyes at him. “I’m sure he’d be flattered.”

Alex groans again, earning him another amused eye roll. She tugs at his hair a bit, not painfully, but just enough to annoy him, so he rolls off of her and just buries his face in the throw blanket she has on her bed. “He would be, but it’s embarrassing!”

“Jesus fuck, Lex, stop being such a dramatic bitch, it’s literally just a compliment.”

He lifts his head enough to turn it and presses his cheek back into the blanket, while throwing her a pitiful look. “I just don’t want Willie to know how much of a disaster I am.”

Julie snorts. “Buddy, I hate to break it to you, but that train left the station a year ago, when they ran you over and instead of being annoyed you bluescreened enough to go on a coffee date that you didn’t know was a date until Willie told you two months ago.”

Alex reaches out to shove her lightly, because he’s still so ashamed of that. Willie had cried tears of laughter when they realized Alex had not in fact seen their first date as a date, nor their second and third, and then kissed him and told him they wouldn’t want him any other way. Willie’s great like that.

“Please don’t bring it up again,” he pleads, only half heartedly because she throws her head back and laughs, blindly reaching out to pat his shoulder. Then she sobers, only a bit, and looks back at him. “Bobby also got over Reggie wearing skirts, you know, he should be here in a few minutes so you can ask him.”

“I’m not going to take advice from fucking Bobby,” Alex says. “That man was too oblivious to see how head over heels Reggie was for him for years, at least Willie and I got together in the span of a few months.”

“That’s because you two are the least subtle people on the planet, Lex. You’re not the norm.”  
“Okay, rude,” Alex says, swatting her hand away from his hair, because she loves pulling on it when she’s teasing him. “Also Bobby has not, in fact, gotten over Reggie in skirts, because Reggie looks phenomenal in them. He’s just gotten better at hiding his gay, which took more months than I have had so far.”

She sighs. “Disasters, all of you.”

He sits up now, done pouting, into the blanket at least, and raises his eyebrows. “Okay, so if Luke wore a skirt you'd be absolutely fine?”

The image alone seems to make her blush, and she groans, throwing him a half hearted glare. “I hate you. At least Flynn and Carrie are functional.”

“No the fuck they aren’t. Carrie literally almost broke her ankle two weeks ago when Flynn came to our gig in the suit.” Alex laughs a little at the image, because seeing Carrie Wilson, resident ice queen, tripping and spilling her drink because of Flynn in a suit was hilarious. It’s a shame nobody’s got that on video.

“Goddamn, Alex, you’re really coming for all of us,” Julie says. The door to her room bursts open and Bobby strolls in, red in the face. They watch in stunned silence as he kicks off his hoes and drops face first onto the bed, between them. 

“Julie, stop teaching Reg how to do make up,” Bobby groans. Julie throws Alex a bewildered look, before reaching out and patting Bobby on the back. “No,” she says, grinning. 

Bobby lifts his head, and Alex briefly wonders if he looked as pathetically smitten just a few minutes ago. “Please, Julie. He had this winged eyeliner today, and wore a dress, how am I supposed to _survive_ with a boyfriend like that?”

“What was it you said?” Alex starts, reaching over Bobby to poke Julie’s arm. “Something like ‘Bobby got over Reggie wearing skirts’?”

“Don’t come at me with that attitude, we both know you’d probably walk through glass if Willie decided makeup was for him.”

Alex gasps, and desperately tries not to picture it, because she’s right. “We’re not talking about me right now,” he says defensively. Julie snorts and shakes her head. Bobby looks over at him. “What are we talking about?”

“Alex was being gay about Willie and skirts a second ago, and I wrongly assumed you were less of a disaster than him,” Julie explains. 

“That was your first mistake,” Alex says, at the same time as Bobby goes: “I’ve never been as bad as Lexi.”

“Both of you are disasters, there’s no winner here.” Julie looks too proud of herself for that for Alex not to take a swipe at her. 

“Okay, Miss Molina, what about the time you forgot how to play piano for a hot second because Luke decided wearing only that stupid blue vest thing without a shirt underneath was the way to go?”

“I hate you,” she groans, going as red as she did two week ago when Luke showed up with his guitar, in shorts and that ridiculous once jacket, now abomination. And his beanie. His fucking beanie. Despite claiming the heat as the reason for his ridicolous get-up.

“So Willie started wearing skirts, huh?” Bobby asks, propping himself up on his arms. He doesn’t sound too teasing for once, understanding Alex’s struggle. Alex nods, and takes a deep breath, deciding not to dump another ten minute rant about the bright yellow skirt Willie wore yesterday on Julie. She’s heard that one thrice in the last two hours. “Yeah,” he says simply. Bobby nods slowly. 

“My shins are fucking purple, I keep walking into benches, it’s just too distracting,” Alex adds. Bobby continues nodding, Julie just laughs at him again. "And I can’t really tell Willie to stop, they love wearing skirts. And he looks so good in them! It’s so unfair!”

“You’re a loser,” Bobby says. 

“Fuck off.”

“Bobby’s right,” Julie agrees.

“Hah, suck it-”

“You’re not any better Mr Blobby, you just had a gay meltdown over Reggie sporting eyeliner.”

Alex laughs at that, seeing Bobby go through offense, sulking and then violently blushing again in the span of a second. Julie gives him a warning glance. “I still think you should just tell him, get that gay weight off your chest and maybe chill the fuck out for a minute.”

“Who, Lexi? He’s not gonna chill out, he can’t. He literally saw Willie and was in love.” Bobby stops looking smug when Alex lets himself collapse onto him. In retribution and for the cuddles. He immediately shifts onto his back and puts his arms around Alex’s shoulders.

“It’s just… I don’t want to scare Willie off, y’know. Like, I’m not thirsting over him, because that’s weird, but it might come off that way when I say it to his face,” Alex mumbles. Julie sighs, more empathetic this time.

“Alex, as a fellow ace I can safely say that being absolutely dazzled by your partner in a skirt doesn’t mean you’re thirsting. You’re just a smitten idiot who’s too gay and anxious to act like a normal human being,” Bobby says, voice softer. He flicks two fingeres against Alex’s forehead. “Also get off me fuckwit, you’re too heavy.”

“I hate you,” Alex says, as Bobby continues holding onto him. Both of them know they’re going to stay like this until it gets too warm for them. He looks over at Julie, waiting on a remark from her, but she has a pensive look on her face.“Jules?”

“You said it’s unfair how good Willie looks in a skirt, right?” she asks, looking at him. There’s a spark in her eyes that’s dangerously close to the time she decided it would be a good idea to pierce Alex a helix at home with a hot safety pin. It’s a miracle that thing had healed without complications.

“Yeah?” he says, slowly, eyes flicking to see Bobby watch Julie with curiosity. 

“Well, to make things fair we should just put you in a skirt then,” she says. Alex gapes at her. Bobby whoops. “Oh hell yeah, Willie will lose their shit.”

“I- okay, I don’t think they will? I don’t even know if I’d look good in a skirt and-,” he starts. In theory it’s a good idea, but it scares him a bit.   
Julie interrupts him before he can really start rambling. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, obviously, but I think you’d look great in a skirt.”

“Agreed, you have great legs, Lex,” Bobby nods. Alex can feel a bit of heat creep up his neck. “You guys really think so?”

They nod their agreement, a manic grin spreading over their faces as they watch him decide. They know him well enough to see his thoughts, in tune as they are. All of them, to be fair, know about the meaning behind every breath, every look, every movement, as miniscule as it might be, of the others. Know what to look for in him when he is nervous, know he is even before he does sometimes, having studied him long enough to know when to take his hand and when to pull him away, when to touch him and when not to. 

So of course they see him decide.

A week later he finds himself in the studio, consciously shifting his weight from one foot to another. Julie had gone all out the second he’d agreed, called Flynn and Carrie and decided to take him shopping. It had been fun, the whole bunch of them browsing through stores, trying on skirts and dresses and giggling the whole time.

Luke had also tried on skirts, and Julie had dropped her phone, Bobby hadn’t, but he’d teased Alex about being so whipped for Willie that he stepped so far out of his comfort zone he entered it from behind. And Bobby had forgotten all about teasing him as he watched Reggie twirl in sundresses and tip his wide brimmed hat at them with a wide grin on his face.

Carrie and Flynn had ended up doing most of the actual clothes picking and styling, and so Alex is wearing a new shirt, colour blocked in pastels, and a black skirt that’s apparently ‘skater style’ - “Because your partner is a skater, it’s funny”. It ends just below the middle of his thighs, and his shirt is tucked into it. He’s also wearing the rainbow socks Willie gave to him for their 6 months anniversary. And Bobby had decided to indulge him and spend his and Carrie’s dad's money on a pair of black high top converse that Alex has been eyeing for a while. 

It’s a whole new outfit, except for his fanny pack, rings, necklace and the rainbow bracelet around his wrist and honestly, Alex feels kind of good in it. There’s some unease about Willie’s reaction to this whole thing, and he hopes that he won’t have to deal with assholes at the skatepark, but… he likes the skirt.

It’s a very warm day, and it feels a lot more comfortable in the skirt than in shorts, and honestly, if things go well, he can see himself wearing skirts in the height of summer. The guys and Julie left him alone to get dressed, but they’re waiting in front of the studio, and he can hear their excited chattering. They haven’t seen him in the whole outfit yet, not the way it’s assembled now, and Julie will take pictures of him for Carrie and Flynn, and he doesn’t want to be late to his date, so he takes a breath and pushes the doors open, stepping into the warm sunlight.

“Holy shit!” Luke shouts, seeing him first. “You look amazing!”  
Bobby and Reggie grin at him proudly. “You really do, Lexi, you’re gonna sweep Willie off their feet,” Reggie says. 

Alex fiddles with the fabric of the skirt, but he can’t stop smiling. This is exciting, and fun, and right now he almost can’t wait to actually meet Willie.

“You look great,” Julie says, bounding forward and throwing her arms around him. He catches her with practiced ease and lifts her off the ground, to which she giggles. “It was a good idea, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, of course it was, as if you don’t know that,” he says, and hugs her a bit tighter. And because they’re all touch starved despite cuddling basically all day every day the guys join in, crowding around Alex and hugging him. “You look hot enough to turn a straight man gay,” Luke says. 

“I- okay? Thanks?” Alex isn’t too sure what to make of that, because he doesn’t want to turn anyone gay, he just wants for Willie to like the way he looks today. Bobby groans and reaches around Alex’s and Reggie’s shoulder to slap Luke lightly on the back of the head. “You’re disgusting.”

Luke squawks. “No I’m not!”

“You’re what’s wrong with allos,” Bobby continues. It’s a practiced game between them, old enough for Alex to already roll his eyes. 

“Reggie is also allo, so are Alex and Julie!”

“Reg is my boyfriend, so he has all the privileges, and Jules and Lexi are my friends.”

“What am I then?”

“A nuisance.” Bobby hasn’t even finished saying it, and he’s already left the group hug and is running away, Luke hot on his heels, they bicker, until Luke catches Bobby around the waist and they start kind of wrestling each other. Alex sets Julie down and snorts. “A moment of silence for you two, you’re dating children.”

“Shut the fuck up, Willie regularly licks things to call dibs, including your cheek,” Reggie says fondly, throwing an arm around Alex’s shoulders. Bobby has succeeded in getting Luke in a headlock and ruffling through his hair. Alex blushes only a bit. “That’s endearing.”

“Okay, sure, but you’d also say it was endearing if Willie came home with a wild snake they found on the sidewalk. Literally anything he does is endearing to you.” Reggie leans into him, watching Bobby struggle against Luke who’s freed himself with a fond smile. Alex nudges him in the side. “As if you wouldn’t think Bobby was the cutest thing even if he looked like a demon with glowing eyes who spooks you in the dark.”

Reggie doesn’t say anything, which is answer enough, and Julie snorts. “You should probably get going, Lex, don’t want you to be late,” she says, and goes up on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. 

“It’s literally just up the stairs and through your front yard,” he reciprocates the cheek kiss and gives Reggie one for good measure. She’s right, as per usual.

“Idiots, I’m leaving,” he announces. Luke and Bobby break apart finally, giggling like the children they are and hug him again.

“You got this!” Reggie yells, when Alex goes up to the little gate that separates the back from the front yard.

“Woo him with your smexy legs!” Luke adds, loudly. Alex ignores him, just shows him the finger as he leaves, hearing the sighs around Luke and Bobby’s “You are disgusting.”

He gets a bit nervous again, making his way to the sidewalk, where Willie is going to pick him up. He really hopes Willie will like it. And that things go well. He starts fiddling with his skirt again, missing pockets to shove his hands into, and starts shifting back and forth on his feet. 

Alex hears Willie before he sees him, and turns to see them skating up. Willie looks beautiful, as usual. He’s wearing shorts and a tie dye crop top today, one that came into existence during a crafting session with the whole group a few months ago. Alex made it for them, and he’s still quite proud of how vibrant the purple, black and grey is, swirling over the white fabric. Willie had looked close to tears when Alex had presented them with it. And they wear it a lot, which makes Alex’s whole chest feel warm and happy. 

The sun shines down on Willie as he skates closer, and it’s as if time slows down, from rushing to a slower thing, like honey, golden and sweet, so Alex has more time to admire him, and the way his long hair dances on the wind, and his eyes shine. The silver of their rings glinting with movement, adding an extra bit of shine to them.

Willie is beautiful, always, and radiant as the sun right now.   
Willie is also falling.  
Time resumes it’s normal rush, and Alex watches in mild horror as Wille stumbles and crashes onto the ground, his left hand extended to break the fall.

“Fuck,” Willie groans, their skateboard stopping just shy of the curb. Alex is running before he even knows it, skidding to a stop next to his partner, who’s still on the ground, cradling his arm against his chest.

“Fuck,” he repeats after Willie. “Willie, are you okay? What happened? Do you need a doctor?” His hands are moving erratically, fear pulsing through his veins, and he finally settles them on Willie’s shoulder.

“I’m fine- I think. Alex, holy shit.” Willie sits up, staring at him.

“Are you sure? Your arm-”

“You could have warned me!” Willie says, and his eyes wander down to where the skirt is spread over Alex’s thighs, then flick back up to his eyes again, and his cheeks colour a dark pink. 

“Warned you of what?”

“That you’re wearing a skirt!”

“What?” They stare at each other for a moment, on the hot sidewalk, and Alex understands nothing. 

“God, I love you so much, but you’re such an idiot,” Willie says, before leaning forward and kissing Alex. They smile against his lips, and break off with a laugh. Alex is still confused. 

“You look really, really good in a skirt and I was not emotionally prepared for that,” Willie adds, smiling softly. He’s still holding his left arm to his chest, but the fingers of their right hand find the hem of Alex’s skirt and fiddle with it. Alex can feel the blush bleeding into his cheeks.

“At least you know what I feel like whenever you wear a skirt,” he confesses. Willie stares back at him. “What?”

“I’ve been losing my mind over you in skirts for the last month, babe. I’m literally wearing this because Julie got tired of me freaking out about you,” Alex can’t keep the cracking out of his voice, because this is kind of embarrassing, but also he’s still slightly worried that Willie might have actually hurt himself. 

“You could have just said so,” Willie says, grinning, still blushing, still holding Alex’s skirt between their fingers. Alex snorts and shakes his head, and brushes his fingers over Willie’s left arm. It feels normal. No bumps or irregularities like Luke’s arm had had after he’d broken it. That’s a relief.

“I didn’t want to be embarrassing and tell you how often I got distracted looking at you, so that I ran into things.”

Willie grins, and bites their lip, then grabs Alex’s hand with his left one. “That’s not as embarrassing as almost breaking an arm because your boyfriend is wearing a skirt, though.”

Alex kisses them, quick and fast and they break into giggles.

“We should probably get up from the sidewalk, hhuh?” he asks, and Willie nods. Alex pulls him up, and sees that Willie’s knees are scraped up and slightly bloody.

Willie does too. “Well fuck,” they say, drily. “Injured because my boyfriend commited the crime of being beautiful.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Alex says, blushing again. “You did this to yourself, not watching the road and all.”

“How the hell am I supposed to watch the road when you’re wearing a skirt, sir? Can you explain that to me?” Willie swats at a bit of gravel on their left knee and Alex grabs their wrist before he can. 

“I know where Ray keeps the first aid kit, I’m gonna clean these for you, no touching.” he also picks up Willie’s skateboard and presses a kiss to their temple. “Also don’t ask me, please, I do not know how to stop looking at you anyway, much less in a skirt. I think all the benches in the park know my name by now.”

Willie snorts and slings an arm around Alex’s waist, pulling him in. “We probably shouldn’t both wear skirts then, at least one of us needs to be functional.”

Alex loves them. So much. He laughs, almost at the front door of the house. “We probably shouldn’t, no.”

They do, though. A few weeks later they meet up for a hangout at the Wilson’s mansion, both of them in skirts, and it’s both a disaster and a delight.

**Author's Note:**

> yeet folks, i love these idiots so much. they're all dumb and gay  
> also i now want an ace tie dye shirt goddamn  
> anyway, i hope you enjoyed!
> 
> if you feel like talking/yelling, about jatp or in just general, you can find me on tumblr as [on-irratia](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/on-irratia)  
> have a good day/ night/ rest of time! :D


End file.
